JOKE SMS ENGLISH

JOKE SMS💘

2day is the international day of smart 

n

attractive people.

Send this 2 some one

who fits the description!

Don't send it back,

i've already recieved hundreds 

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GODISNOWHERE

this can b read as

GOD IS NO WHERE or as GOD IS NOW HERE

everything depends on how do u see anything.

So think possitive! 

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monday 2 sunday,

frm january 2 december,

from birth till my death,

my feeling 4 u hv never changed,

4 me,

u've always been a headache! 

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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 * # sorry to disturb u. I m just checking my mobile buttons are working or not Thank lot all work ! You can continue your work ... .net. 

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Never KISS a

lady police,

She will say,

hands up.

.

Never KISS a

lady doctor,

She will say,

Next please

.

Always KISS a

SChool teacher

and she wil say

repeat it 5

TIMES DAILY 

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A small monkey came

2 me and asked,he

want 2 make some 1

fool.i suggested ur

name.hearing that it

slapped me and told

"we dnt want 2 play

with our boss" 

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           A towel can make ur career - Ranbeer kapoor 

a towel can destroy you career - shreeshant

u can make career without a towel - sunny leone 

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Which is the most confussing day in America(U.S.A)? 

. 

Fathers day..!! 

coz.. 

NOBODY knows whom to wish…. 

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TEACHER: you call your Mother as MUM. What will you call your Mother’s Younger Sister & Elder Sister? 

Sardar: So simple, i’ll call them MINIMUM & MAXIMUM 

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Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me. 

I don’t know how she got my no, 

She interrupts whenever I call someone 

and says “Please Recharge Your Card” 

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Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. 

Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. 

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Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car. Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. 

Banta : Dont worry, I have one more. 

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Life is a hell when u have american wife. indian salary. chinese car and german food. life is heaven when you had american salary, indian wife german car and chinese food 

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When a woman loves you, you're a husband; 

When a few women love you, you're a man; 

When many women love you, you're a lover; 

When hundreds of women love you, you're an idol; 

When thousands of women love you, you're a leader; 

When all the women in the world love you, you're not human but a gold, diamond, Rupee, Dollar, Euro, Yen... 

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What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool nite with bright moon lite? 

. 

Socho ? 

. 

BOW BOW! 

What else can a dog say? 

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Sardar bought a new mobile. 

He send message to everyone from his Cell 

“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600? 

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A girl comes late to class. 

                             Teacher: Why a re you late ? 

Girl: One boy was following me, sir. 

Teacher: So, What ? 

Girl: That boy was walking very slow. 

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Sardar: Why are all these people running? Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why are 

others running? 

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Height of good luck 

teacher: Hey! Stand up, tell me two pronouns 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Student: who? Me? 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Teacher: very good, sit down 

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a 

little girl whispered to her mother, “Why 

is the bride dressed in white?” “Because 

white is the color of happiness, and today 

is the happiest day of her life.” The child 

thought about this for a moment then 

said, 

“So why the groom wearing black?” 

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Husband texts to wife on cell.. 

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?" 

Wife: I'm dying..! 

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?" 

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.." 

Husband: "Bloody English Language! 

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This is a funny crime story: 

five friends lived in a room. 

mad 

brain 

nobody 

fool 

somebody. 

one day somebody killed nobody. at that time brain was in bathroom. mad called police. 

mad:hello police! somebody has killed nobody. 

policeman: r u mad? 

mad: yes i m mad. 

policeman: you fool? 

mad: no sir i m mad actually fool is busy in reading sms. 

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Wife: i hate that beggar. 

Husband: y? 

Wife: yesterday i gave him food today he gave me a book '' how to cook'' !! 

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When i want to fall in love with my books…. 

My bed falls in love with me…. 

And I believe that love the one who loves you… :D 

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School: A place where papa pays & son plays. 

Life insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all ur 

Life so that you can die rich. 

Nurse: A person wakes up to give you sleeping pills. 

Marriage: A contract in which a boy loses his bachelors degree & 

girl gets her master’s degree. 

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What is the Colour of Frequency? 

Ans: Purple 

How? 

Frequency=1/time 

means 1/sec 

1sec = Ek Pal 

1/Pal= Per Pal 

Per Pal= PURPLE..! 

PHYSICS hila kar rakhdi. :-) 

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Girl: I need Google in my brain and antivirus in my heart 

. 

. 

. 

Boy: U should add 1 more thing 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Girl : What??…. 

…… 

. 

. 

. 

. 

.Boy: Photoshop on your face..:P:P 

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Doctor implants a New Ear to a man. 

Man: You idiot, you gave me a woman’s ear 

Doctor: It makes no difference 

Man: It does,Now I hear everything 

but understand nothing.... 

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The minimum Area with maximum 

decoration is called 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

” Girl’s Face ”..:P 

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In the exam hall. 

Examiner : why you wrote the formula in your hand. 

Student : Because my master told me that, “formulas must be in finger tips”. 

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Mathematics and Women r similar 

as 

They both are complicated but…… 

Maths is better since it has Logic at least… 

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Police Officer: I arrest people, But, when I go home, I'm under house arrest, by Wife 

Professor: I give lectures to students, But, when I go home, I get Lectured hourly, by wife 

CEO: I'm the Boss, But, when I go home, I always feel like an employee, by wife 

Judge: I give Justice, but when I go home, I Beg for Justice, by wife 

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Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. 

Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 ltr. 

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Which Is The Most Beautiful Feeling In The World..?? 

. 

. 

When You Try 2 Look At Your Friend And You Find That Your 

Friend Is Already looking At You.. !! 

LOCATION : Examination Hall 

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Difference between Friend & Wife 

U can Tell ur Friend 

"U r my Best Friend" 

But 

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife 

"U r my Best Wife?" ;P 

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Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing too my 5 yr old son, he cant read very fast. 

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During normal Days i feel like i am Rancho of 3 idiots. 

But during Exams i feel like i am Eshaan Avasti of Tarre Zameen Per 

:P 

۝************************************************۝

a towel can make ur career - Ranbeer kapoor 

a towel can destroy you career - shreeshant 

u can make career without a towel - sunny leone 

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