Computer SMS

The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men;

the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order

of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find

potential mates among their peers. However, software types 

have a well-earned reputation for being... a little strange.

While discussing the prospect of working in the software

industry, one woman commented to another:"The odds are

good, but the goods are odd."

۝************************************************۝

A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. 

When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. 

She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? 

There isn't even a keyboard attached? 

۝************************************************۝

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. 

He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it." 

About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand. 

۝************************************************۝

The eyes shine like CDs in the morning sun, 

I long to have thy software in my hands. 

And when you send a GIF for me to run, 

I feel a sudden twitch within my glands. 

How sweet our cybersex in private rooms, 

You type of lust and send it over the Net. 

How sad it seems when my love's signoff looms, 

I leave my mouse pad miserable and wet. 

And yet I wonder on my lover's face 

I only know thee through the online chat, 

And although I do not care about thy race, 

Perhaps thou has the features of a rat. 

But in the end your beauty matters not, 

for 

۝************************************************۝

'A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. 

She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen." 

The surprised salesman replies, "But, madam, computers do ... not have curtains." 

And the blonde said, "Helloooo.... I've got Windows!"' 

۝************************************************۝

Ek programmer larki ki galian , 

Saley kisi corrupt windows k pedaishi virus..! 

O hard disk k toote huye cluster . .! 

Recycle bin ki purani deleted file. .! 

Oh c k ese function js ki header files hi ni hoti. . ! 

Ksi program mein memory leakage. ! 

Ksi logical error ki pedawar. . ! 

Declare kiye begair use kiye huye integer . 

Pirated software ki nasal. 

Chal apni dangling pointer jesi shakal le kr nikal yahan se! 

۝************************************************۝

'RAM: 

Random Access Memory 

CD: 

Compact Disc 

VCD: 

Video Compact Disk 

DVD: 

Digital Video Disc 

VCR: 

Video Cassette Recorder 

USB: 

Universel Serial Bus 

IBM: 

International Business Machines 

DELL: 

Development of Early Language Learning 

HP: 

Hewlett Packard 

LG: 

Lucky Goldstar 

LCD: 

Liquid Crystal Display 

TFT: 

Thin Film Transistor 

LED: 

Light Emitting Diode' 

۝************************************************۝

Before going to the mosque santa mom “beta don’t wear your new shoes to the mosque someone will steal it”. Santa worry not mother I know that’s why I have inserted tracking device in it. Now I will be able to Google it.' 

۝************************************************۝

A good friend is like a computer; 

me ‘enter’ ur life, 

‘save’ u in my heart, 

‘format’ ur problems, 

‘shift’ u 2 opportunities & 

never ‘delete’ u from my memory! 

۝************************************************۝

U hav a compute addiction wen u 

kiss ur girlfriend’s homepage. 

Ur dog has its own website. 

And even ur night dreams r in HTML..! 

۝************************************************۝

GODS are also I.T. Engineers 

BRAHMA 

System installer 

VISNU 

System supporter 

SHIV 

System Programmer 

NAARAD 

Data transfer 

YAM 

Deleter 

MENKA 

Virus! 

۝************************************************۝

Girl setting password with Boy-Friend sitting beside her 

She types “BRAIN” as password 

Boy-Friend fell off his chair Laughing Bcoz 

Laptop replied: TOO SMALL 

۝************************************************۝

Teacher Gave Him Punishment 

To Write 5000 Times 

“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class…” 

And Submit It Tomorrow…. 

Next Day, He Submitted The Paper Written 

#Include 

Void Main( ) 

{ 

Clrscr( );Int N; 

For( N=1 ; N<=5000 ; N ) 

Printf(“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class”); Getch( ); } 

Be A Programmer… Think Differently 

۝************************************************۝

Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command. 

Husband: Exactly darling! 

its a computer, not a Husband..!! 

۝************************************************۝

Girl: Which computer do u have? 

Boy: I have a computer with intel core i7 

processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram 

& nvidia gtx 560 graphics card. 

Boy: which computer do YOU have??? 

Girl: A PINK ONE !! 

What to say now. 

۝************************************************۝

Dear Computer User, 

I Do Appreciate Your Kind Attitude Towards 

The Keys 0f Keyboard, 

But 

0ne question… 

Why Do You Press All Keys Softly n Hit Me 

With All Your Power? 

Yours sincerely, 

‘ENTER’ Key! 

۝